the distance from the bar to my apartment increases geometrically with each passing beer

I'm sitting in my mother's house, typing typing typing on her little laptop computer. I want one for myself, but I really can't stand the little keyboard. It makes me make mistakes. But then, an artist never blames his tools. If you can call blogging an art form.

The drive up was abnormally long, owing mostly to the fact that I arrived in Atlanta at around 4:30 and got caught in rush-hour traffic. It was hellish, but I managed to make matters worse by missing my exit from I-295. I imagine that there is someone sitting in hell right now, stuck in Atlanta rush-hour, looking over their shoulder and through a solid block of cars to the exit they just missed 100 yards behind. There's no turning back.

So, I found an alternate route. It was a little back-road, but it was more scenic than I-985 would have been. As grueling as driving long distance can be, I really do enjoy it. It is one of those rare times that I can really spend time reflecting and thinking. All of my best material and most genius ideas were birthed in a car, speeding down the interstate. Oh, and then there's the singing along to whatever music pleases at the top of the lungs. God gave us cars as a blessing.

Not long after I arrived here, I was dragged by my mother to a pot-luck dinner party being thrown by the church choir. The food was excellent and I received some leads for possible jobs in the area. The sooner I have a steady income, the happier I will be.

I have Spain to save for.

staring over the edge of the cliff

awake early and packing before dressing, lugging boxes down flights of stairs and denting the hood of my car, listening to the new speakers until my ears hurt and then mulling around the office, emptying the desk, distracting myself by pricing computer components, solitaire, woody's barbeque, meeting my sister at the hookah lounge to dump boxes in her jeep, meeting with laura for a last beer before i leave

It's amazing how quickly everything clicks past. Everything has spun into a blur, and the terror is sinking in. I'll soon be passing over the edge of the cliff. It will certainly be nice to have a few days free to just read or sleep.

lost on the freeway again

Today I began the process of packing up my life in preparation for the move. I always underestimate the amount of stuff I have. So far I've filled two boxes with just clothing and compact discs. I haven't even gotten to the big stuff yet. I really should just throw most of this junk away. I couldn't part with my music, though. Nor my musical instruments. Somehow I'll have to move two guitars, a keyboard, a saxophone, a violin, a steel drum, and various small instruments including a fife, pan flutes, several rain sticks and other percussive instruments. Add to this the recording equipment I have stashed around my apartment. Microphones, cables, mixing boards, disks upon disks of recorded music... Moving is always a daunting task. I think most of the kitchen appliances will be making their way to Salvation Army. Except the Kitchen Aid. I couldn't part with that beauty.

I'm planning to take the first load up to Clarkesville this weekend. Maybe start moving in.

With all of this work, it's easy to forget that we must also keep ourselves entertained. I installed a new set of speakers into my car yesterday. It was an exciting venture. There is nothing quite like the thrill of tackling a task which you've never tried before. It didn't prove that difficult, though. Maybe an hour's worth of work. The most difficult part was getting the door panels off of the front doors so I could install the front speakers. I pretty much had to disassemble my doors to do it. It was scary at first, but once I got used to the motions, it became highly satisfying. I was reminded of building and rebuilding structures and spaceships with Legos and Constructs when I was little. The idea that these parts could come together to form something greater than themselves. It was akin to working on a computer. Perhaps I should have gotten more into cars at a younger age. They seem to be an excellent study in synergy.

I think my next big task will be to build an audio-production computer and then a fully functioning home-recording studio. That's something I have always dreamed of. How beautiful indeed.

--

Grades for the fall semester were finally posted today. I was glad to see that I've passed all of my classes, which means I am officially a college graduate now, knowledge that is just starting to sink in. How terrifying.

devil and drink carried away the rest

I don't write poetry very often. Mostly because I'm not so good at it. But hey, if I've got it, I might as well publish it.

Interruption:
and only in this way
did we find ourselves
alone in the world,
or rather,
alone in ourselves.
And with wordless affection
we slipped silently
into the future,
passively waiting
for the other to move.

i am a mole, sticking his head above the surface of the earth

Adina and I went to the see The Nutcracker Ballet yesterday. I was quite impressed by it. I hadn't been to see a ballet in years and had forgotten the beauty of the human form, the delicate and firm, hypnotic, graceful and sensual.

Not sensual in a sexual sense, but rather in an aesthetically pleasing one.

Particularly impressive were the sets on stage. The show used a lot of opaque screens and projectors to create a multi-layered environment for the dancers. Which is to say, the screens would drop down and backdrops would be projected on them for the dancers to dance in front of while the hard set pieces were being changed behind the screens. And then the screens would lift, and these beautiful rooms and snowy fields and fantastic, dream-like worlds were revealed to us. Perhaps the best part of the ballet is after Clara and the Nutcracker arrive in the Land of Sweets and all of the dolls begin dancing for her. I really enjoyed the Spanish dolls and the Russian dolls, because Russian is my ancestry and the Spanish are beautiful.

There were a lot of children in the theatre and Adina and I talked about what they would all be when they grew up. She said all the same, and I said everyone different. She's probably more correct than I am, though. Human is human is human is unchanging. Or so they tell me. We talked about shoes, too. Painful, high-heeled shoes with razor-sharp straps that cut into the flesh and leave feet mutilated and bleeding. But so fashionable. If only people were willing to suffer as much for something outside of their own vanity.

i lay down with the southern rage

Well, it has happened. I have graduated, and another chapter of my life has slipped past me. It is hard to keep up, when the cars click past so quickly and your head starts to strain from the effort to count them all. But, it's good to move on.

I suppose now that I am embarking into the world, as they say, I really should document my journey. I've tried the blog thing before, but maybe this time it's right. Which is what one always says at the beginning of things. I've tried the embarking into the world thing before, but maybe this time it's right. I wonder how many times one needs to graduate before they find the plateau. I'm pretty sure I have a few more in me, and frankly, I hope I never reach that high, flat place. Stagnation is the mind killer. Or fear, but I wouldn't want to plagiarise Frank Herbert.

So, the next couple of weeks will comprise me packing and cleaning and sifting through the stuff I've accumulated over the years. I think I feel another purge coming on, and only the most sentimental of objects will survive. It's time to pack light and trim the fat and venture forth. I've been in this town for too long. Stagnation is the mind killer.